8. A Good Listener

8. A Good Listener

The 8th strongest contributing factor to spiritual luster is being a good listener. Are you a good listener? How sensitive are you to others? How well can you ‘hear’ and respond to the needs of others? How clearly do your hear God?

Being a good listener requires that you shift away from yourself and toward others. Perhaps the most common communication infraction I see in my patients, and particularly in marriage counseling, and the one that causes the most damage, is self-absorption… self-centeredness. Whatever topic may come up in conversation, self-absorbed persons always find ways of focusing the center of attention upon them. This of course is exactly the opposite of what it means to be a good listener.

How can you train yourself to ‘listen’ with your own spiritual luster, to another’s spiritual luster? Sound tricky? Certainly, but it’s not impossible. Can you intentionally train yourself (with God’s grace) to zero-in on another’s spiritual luster? Can you grow to focus on what’s good about the other person?

So-called positive psychology asks what’s right, and strong and good about another. Traditional psychology asks what’s wrong; two very different perspectives indeed. Which perspective have you adopted? Do you see the glass half empty or half full? Do you first look for what’s right, or what’s wrong? Your answer will determine not only your outlook on life, but will also determine your predominant mood. Asking what’s right leads to optimism; asking what’s wrong leads to depression.

Seeking a person’s spiritual luster is “listening” for their highest good.


Sir,” the royal official pleaded with Jesus, “Come down before my child dies.” Jesus told him, “Return home, your son will live.” John $:49-50

Peter said, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I have I give you! In the name of Jesus the Nazorean, walk” Acts 3:6

If your brother does wrong, correct him; if he repents, forgive him. Luke 17:3

I will gladly spend myself and be spent for your sakes. 2 Cor. 12:15

Remember that you have been called to live in freedom, but not a freedom that gives free rein to the flesh. Galatians 5:13

I plead with you, as a prisoner for the Lord, to live a life worthy of the calling you have received… bearing with one another lovingly. Ephesians 4:1-2

Being a good listener is perhaps the most important of all human interaction skills, since it places implicit value upon the issues most relevant to the other person.